You’ve heard the adage, “The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.” It’s true. But while you are saving up for the real expensive toys, like the Aston Martin Vanquish, Veyron Roadster or the perhaps the very rare and macho 2011 Hurst Customized Camaro, you can keep your mind sharp with a few well chosen toys like this. You probably played the plastic version of Connect Four, but this mahogany version from Jacques of London at $99 is more befitting your current style. Until this one arrives, you can practice your game here.
A Cool Living Room Game
How To Watch Movies
To be honest, a man watches films. Movies are mere entertainment best consumed in paperback form. Films, on the other hand, utilize a comprehensive medium to make you think and feel. If that sounds too committal, the definitive prospectus has already been curated for you by the Criterion Collection. Once a movie makes the Collection, it’s a film. While they’ve let airheads like Roger Vadim in the club, his list of starlets (depicted) make up for his albeit sybaritic stuff. Purists may prefer the Janus collection after perusing strictlyfilmschool. If you really must have your man purse and movies too, we suggest Vanishing Point or LeMans. They don’t write books about car movies.
Dawn of the Dreadfuls. Morsel by Morsel.
Is this prequel to Pride and Predjudice and Zombies, the most successful literary mashup of last year, DOA or a whole new trick? Here is what we can serve up immediately about Dawn Of The Dreadfuls after you click right here.
Morsel One: This book is easier to read that than the original Zombies smash as it avoids the stiff prose of Ms. Austen. It reads a little more like a movie. Asses are kicked, skirts are lifted, and no one is safe.
Morsel Two: The dreadfuls are even more disgusting.
Morsel Three: “Victorian” is a euphemism for passions long repressed. This could be why the cover of the book looks like the little girl has lost it a bit early. It is also why if Austen were to rise from her grave tomorrow we believe she would scream like a banshee in tortured ecstasy that her deepest passions have been co-opted by another writer. A man, no less.
A watch you can see in the dark
Look, we don’t really know what watches the U.S. Navy SEALs wear. In fact, we’re not sure if you should care what watches SEALs wear unless you are a SEAL. (If you are a SEAL, by the way, you can wear any damn watch you please.) That said, we like the Luminox watch
Hemingway and Head Tonic
As “Papa” always said, British Colonialism had its high points. It encouraged the preparation of all sorts of gin drinks that are with us to this day. I am quite sure, for example that Pimms No.1 cup was invented during this time. Pimms with a little gin, some lime juice and a large spritz of soda and tonic makes a fantastic late summer drink.
Which brings us to this post. In the British West Indies a tonic of a different kind was developed during the 1800s callled Royall Bay Rhum. This makes a great after shave, and makes your head tingle when you massage it into your hair. Hemingway (pictured) was a fan. For all we know it could be used as a shampoo. Or, if you are into derelict chic (as Will Ferrel showed us in Zoolander), an aperitif.
The flashlight that doubles as a weapon
You know those cool flashlights the cops and NCIS guys use all the time on TV? It’s true, gone are the days of the 8 D-cell monsters cops used to carry. They’ve been replaced by light, pocket sized, and high intensity models–such as the SureFire E2D Executive Defender
It works as a weapon in two ways: the light can be turned on instantaneously with the thumb switch and shone directly into an attacker’s eyes. It’s bright enough to temporarily destroy his night vision long enough for you to get away; and, if that doesn’t work, both ends of the light are notched striking surfaces. That surface will not only do substantial damage to skin, it will leave a distinctive mark on the attacker that the police will be able to recognize.
The case is made of super strong military spec aluminum and o-ring sealed for water resistence. The lens is thick tempered Pyrex glass, and designed to withstand the shock of hard use–or an intentional shot to an attacker’s forehead.
We carry one frequently, and always when we’re traveling. They make great gifts, too, for the women in your life who might need a little extra protection.
One set of batteries lasts about eleven hours. So, don’t forget to buy extras
The most bizzare movie of all time
We can say without reservation that is the most bizzare movie ever made (this is a week for absolute statements.) Essentially it is about a man who turns into a machine with certain appendages that he uses to drill people, places and things. After that it becomes a little hard to follow. It is enough of a cyber-punk classic to meirt a very long wikkipedia entry which we will allow to explain this, er, film here. The movie is supposed to say something about the mechanization of society, nuclear waste and the nihilism that only a country that has experienced atomic weapons could explore.
Or to quote another professional movie critic (from IMDb) “It’s like Dali has been reborn Japanese and schizophrenic and has decided to make a film but gets confused and makes people mate with machines and he tries to film the result but the camera has overdosed on amphetamines.”
Yes.
Pay-per-Post. Protested.
Starving bloggers can be paid to post things on their blogs (for starvation wages). Anyone with the semblance of a brain will realize that the blogger is posting for pay (at a pittance) and will ignore the content. Paid editorial is what we call “advertorial” and it has always been waste of paper in print and brainpower in bits. (Which makes the first even more wasteful.)
Be assured that groovyman.com will not take pay for a post unless we can first try the product. Furthermore, if we do not develop a very dark tan after the first few applications and or need to fight off numerous admirers with our man purses, we will send the product back. Finally, we will continue to excoriate the crap that people actually pay others to post about.*
(*Unlike the beautiful and inspired piece of sculpture from the Akron Public Library System that we have used to adorn this post. We understand it may be for sale. We’d post more about it, but no one will pay us.)
Japanese Bikes. The New Groove.
Years ago, while growing up in Italy, a contributor to Groovyman.com witnessed frequently smoky clouds emitted from the tailpipes of Moto Guzzis favored by the Italian Police. These corpulent cycles could never hold anything but a overly rich fuel mixture in their carbs, which frequently caused them to belch and break down. The same can be said of numerous older Harleys which remain prized pieces of trash for what can only be considered misplaced patriotism. Particularly when 60s and 70s Hondas now tower over everything else in grooviness.
Unlike the American, Italian and British horrors of that period, Hondas still perform reliably and suddenly look really, really cool with their frequent two tone paint jobs, chromed parts and chassis’ screwed together in all the right places. They also feature fuel injection.
Aesthetics and quality aside, its also worth noting that Soichiro Honda was a true maverick and was shunned ocassionally by a society that prized conformism. Honda shares that distinction with the auteur Akira Kuozawa, Godzilla and other Japanese creatures that are frequently misunderstood.
A Best Buy For Bits
In the olden days B4U were born, people talked about atoms and bits. While such nomenclatura’ would, ostensibly “bite” to most cyberpunks, it does adequately convey what could be the best online deal on a small and light portable computer out there this week. Best Buy is offering the T410 ThinkPad (only available in store) for $600.00 while supplies last. While many sell ThinkPads, the BestBuy models come loaded with RAM and storage. The processor is old school (Core Duo, not I3) but you’ll save $80.00 at least over the new I3 ThinkPad T410 Edge–which is still a great deal at $680.00 and also fully loaded. It just ain’t old school looking–effeminate glossy cover and metal accents over the all-black T410–which makes it a lot less punk. As in Rotten. You dig?
