GroovyMan

I don’t know what the weather’s like where you are, but here it’s damn hot. Ninety degrees the past couple of days and it’s just May, for God’s sake. It was hot like Puerto Rico hot, or like Cuba hot. That’s why you need a nice cold rum drink–like a mojito. If it was good enough to be Papa Hemingway’s favorite drink, it’s certainly good enough for you.

People make mojitos in many different ways–mostly wrong. Here’s the right way.

First, go to the garden store and buy yourself some mint. Plant it somewhere in your yard, or in a pot on your balcony if you don’t have a yard. It’s basically a weed so you don’t have to do much to it except water it. Don’t forget and you’ll have enough for the whole summer of mojitos.

After you’ve done that, and it’s grown in nice and thick, grab a handful and throw it into the bottom of a tall glass. (We like those blue-rimmed Mexican glasses.) Take a flat ended stick or the back of a wooden spoon and smash the hell out of it. This releases the oils that actually have the flavor. If you don’t do this step, you may as well be throwing dandelions into the thing.

Second, take the refrigerated simple syrup you’ve made and drop two or three tablespoons of it into the glass. (By the way, you make a simple syrup by mixing equal amounts of sugar and water in a saucepan over heat until the sugar dissolves. Refrigerate it for as long as you like and dip into it whenever the mojito urge strikes.) Do not just throw a couple spoons of sugar into the glass. It won’t dissolve and it will make the mojito too sweet anyway.

Follow the simple syrup with a jigger or so of white rum. Don’t use the spiced stuff, even if you do like the commercials. We’re going for at least a modicum of subtlety here.

Now, take two limes out of the huge bag of limes you bought at Costco and cut them in half. Juice three halves and pour the pulpy goodness out of your hand juicer into the glass. Throw in one of the juiced halves, too. Save the fourth half for your next mojito. (In case the math is confusing you, 3 limes = 2 mojitos.)

Now, fill the glass with cracked ice. The best way to do this is to smack the ice cubes from your freezer with the handle of a heavy knife. Don’t crush it. Crack it. Do it in your hand, not on the counter.

Add a nice sparkling water to fill the glass. Club soda will do if it’s not too salty. We like San Pellegrino ourselves and we can buy it by the case at Costco, too. Do not use Sprite or any other soft drink. That’s for high school kids and crappy sports bars in Midwestern small towns.

Stir. Sip. Repeat.