Have you have ever, like, wondered whether the politicians you have elected are screwing you?
As um, shall we say “difficult” as this may be to digest, it’s time for America to accept the beltway for the brothel that it is. If, by some miracle, the country finally wakes up to this reality, then it might be time to elect a real Porn Star (instead of settling for a simple streetwalker).
Call us prescient, but that is why we are putting all our estimable media power RIGHT NOW behind the next Ron Jeremy to be (whoever that may be) for President in 2012.
A candidate of this caliber will already have hosed so many people in so many ways that, frankly, they might want to try something new.
It might also be rather difficult to corrupt them with cash. After all, there is so much of it in online porn these days it seems difficult to assume they could be seduced as easily as the average Chicago Alderman.
If you think we say this all in jest please know that politics has always catered rather willingly to cockroaches. That is why the average corrupt elected official is so difficult to exterminate (with the exception of that former exterminator from Texas, miraculously.)
Which is why we ask you to seriously consider our exploratory committee to put Ron Jeremy’s protege’ in the White House. While a real Porn Star for Prez might be considered a little icky at least the august Mr. Jeremy himself was called “The Hedgehog” in his day. Which is far less filthy than a bug.
